34. The Happily Ever After…

When people tell you how quickly your wedding day whooshes by, you never believe them. But before I knew it, the DJ was playing the last song and I was running from a conversation by the toilets to squeeze in one last dance with my husband before the lights came up and the night came to an end.

It was a spectacular whirlwind of a day, and if I’m honest I’m still piecing bits of it together. Trying to work out where pockets of time went and why I didn’t get to spend as much of it celebrating with my husband as I’d of liked. At first I blamed diabetes: it took a while for me to get into range with the excitement of the day, then there were the drinks and the fact that I had to bolus with correction doses at times (when the canapés arrive and your handset is nowhere in sight, you’re fine going for that ‘after bolus’ right?). But, in the end, my T1D really didn’t take up much time at all. A few people did tell me to get off my phone when I was checking my BGs or bolusing – it was fun seeing their surprise when they realised it was part of my diabetes management.

Something I will never forget from the day, is hearing my Mum’s speech, where she spoke about my diabetes and all the wonderful gifts it’s brought into my life. Looking around the room and seeing friends I’ve made through the diabetes community as she said all of this meant so much to me. I can’t deny that I was also a little shocked to discover my Mum reads my blog…

Our wedding day was so much of what we wanted it to be: people were chatting, laughing, dancing and celebrating. The atmosphere was filled with love and happiness and I hope everyone who came, took a little of that home with them. But the day was so much more than that for Matt and I: not just the day we became Man and Wife, but the day we got to show all of our friends and family how happy we make each other, how committed we are to each other and how unequivocally in love we are. The road to the wedding hasn’t always been the easiest, but Matt and I have gotten over the bumps together, stronger, more appreciative of each other and definitely more in love… and I didn’t think I could love him more than I already do.

 

 

I’ll finish with an excerpt from my speech;

“Matt, thank you for handling my heart like it’s the FA cup. I promise to cherish yours like it’s a good cup of tea”

 

Nx

 

DISCALAIMER: THIS IS A SERIES OF BLOGS I WILL BE WRITING ABOUT KALEIDO. IN THE INTEREST OF BEING OPEN AND TRANSPARENT I WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU ALL THAT I’M EXCITED TO HAVE BECOME A KALEIDOER. THIS MEANS I AM FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO GET TO TRIAL THE KALEIDO INSULIN PUMP. WHEN THEY ANNOUNCED THEIR UK RELEASE WAS IMMINENT, KALEIDO ASKED FOR KALEIDOERS AND HAVING BEEN KEEPING A CLOSE (AND VERY INTERESTED) EYE ON THEM FOR SOME TIME, I GOT IN TOUCH. I FEEL REALLY LUCKY THAT THEY’RE ALSO LETTING ME USE THEIR PLATFORM TO SHARE MY EXPERIENCES OF LIVING WITH T1D WHILST PREPARING FOR MY WEDDING DAY. THESE BLOGS WILL BE SHARED ON MY OWN SITE ALSO.
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DM ME.

All images copyright Author

 

33. Preparing For The Wedding

Well here we are, the wedding is so close now the excitement around us is palpable. I’m not sure I’ve allowed the excitement to set in yet, there’s still so much left to do that I almost forget how much I’ve prepared.

There have been so many things to consider over the last 2 years of planning that actually factoring in things to make my diabetes management easier on the day has fallen into general wedding category rather than being something set apart. I like thinking of it like that I suppose, my T1D is part of me after all so treating it the same way I have my dress or my hair makes sense.

The first thing I arranged was how to literally manage my T1D on the day and from a technology point of view, my Kaleido pump has been my saviour. I can’t imagine an easier way for me to ensure insulin delivery and manage varying basal needs in a wedding dress. In the run-up to the big day though, I’ve found myself being very aware of which sites I use, sometimes I bruise or the residue from the hook and loop patches takes a while to wash away so any visible sites have been off-limits. I’ve also wanted to avoid my legs, my planned wedding day sites to avoid causing lypos or anything else that could impact insulin absorption. I’ve also timed my set changes to make sure I’m wearing my turquoise pump on the day…something blue is tradition, right?

When it came to planning the menu for the day, I thought about ways we could make sure I was able to guesstimate as closely as possible for all the delicious food we were selecting, I think at one point I googled pocket scales thinking that would be the way forward, then I realised we could work more closely with the chef. We had a few meetings and conversations with the event team and then I asked if the chef could come along to our final details meeting, the same chef that when we had our menu tasting earlier in the year, had sent each of my courses up with a message telling me how much the carbohydrate count of each course weighed, enabling me to work out my insulin requirements. It felt emotional to meet him in person, I think anyone with T1D gets quite used to the terrifying need to guesstimate for meals we haven’t prepared ourselves. So it’ll come as no surprise that I literally cried when he said it wouldn’t be a problem to work out the carb content for each dish. I’ve reviewed the carbs and they all look in order and I’m so pleased I asked the question.

We’ve also thought about hypo management, not just for me, we have some incredible friends from the Diabetes community joining us, so behind the bar will be 150ml cans of coke for those moments the dancing gets the better of our BGs.

My final prep has been to have a good chat with my diabetes team about ways to manage my BGs on our wedding day. I usually set myself quite a tight target range so their first piece of advice was to relax this a bit, so I’ve changed this across all of my devices. The next piece of advice was to have someone keep an eye out for any signs I might be high or low, someone who knows me and the signs and can help me with this task without feeling like I’m being babied. And lastly, as my team sent me off with best wishes for a forever of happiness, they reminded me to just enjoy the day… and send pictures!

Nx

 

DISCALAIMER:: THIS IS A SERIES OF BLOGS I WILL BE WRITING ABOUT KALEIDO. IN THE INTEREST OF BEING OPEN AND TRANSPARENT I WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU ALL THAT I’M EXCITED TO HAVE BECOME A KALEIDOER. THIS MEANS I AM FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO GET TO TRIAL THE KALEIDO INSULIN PUMP. WHEN THEY ANNOUNCED THEIR UK RELEASE WAS IMMINENT, KALEIDO ASKED FOR KALEIDOERS AND HAVING BEEN KEEPING A CLOSE (AND VERY INTERESTED) EYE ON THEM FOR SOME TIME, I GOT IN TOUCH. I FEEL REALLY LUCKY THAT THEY’RE ALSO LETTING ME USE THEIR PLATFORM TO SHARE MY EXPERIENCES OF LIVING WITH T1D WHILST PREPARING FOR MY WEDDING DAY. THESE BLOGS WILL BE SHARED ON MY OWN SITE ALSO.
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DM ME.

All images copyright Author and Ettington Park Hotel

32. Body Image and Wedding Dress Shopping

So let’s talk about the dress in more detail shall we? Whoa, not that much detail, I still want to surprise Matt when I walk down the aisle. No, I want to talk about all of those body niggles and worries that every bride to be experiences. You know, the ones that lead to the majority of brides feeling like they have to go on a diet or extreme workout plan ahead of their wedding? I get it, it’s the day when you’re photographed the most in your entire life and you want to look back and see the image you have in your head in your photos, but what happens when you feel you have barriers to doing that?

 

My own personal relationship with my body image is chequered at the best of times and in the run up to wedding dress shopping it took a real nosedive, the reason behind this was definitely related to T1D. 

 

How would I wear my pump on the day? How would I access my insulin pump? How would I manage my diabetes? Could I manage to lose weight before the final dress fitting? Could I get back into being more active ahead of the wedding?

 

The last 2 were big ones for me, and probably the real reason why my body image nosedived. I realised I was chasing an ideal of other peoples perception of perfection and that was so unhealthy. After all, Matt proposed to me as I am so who would I really be losing weight for? Did I honestly want to look at wedding pictures and see someone I wasn’t familiar with? I spent more time than I should of thinking about this and made some decisions that helped me get to the wedding dress shop to find my dress.

 

1. I stopped looking at pictures of dresses in magazines
2. I stopped watching Say Yes to The Dress
3. I decided to choose my dress without allowing my pump to be a barrier
4. I spoke to my diabetes team about using a different insulin pump for my wedding
5. I wouldn’t choose a dress with the mind set “It’ll look better when I’ve lost some weight”

 

So, I fell in love with a dress and I brought it almost a year ahead of my wedding date. I then needed to find a solution for my diabetes management on the wedding day and I was fortunate enough that Kaleido became a very real possibility for me. That first day, and pretty much every day since has seen me more invested in being more active, because I have so little baggage and don’t have to worry about what to wear to accommodate my pump. The temporary basal function is so easy to find and use that I’ve rarely forgotten to use it ahead of a walk or a swim. It’s all been so natural, I guess that’s what happens when you get to cut the literal ties that were binding you.

 

My first dress fitting came around a week after starting with Kaleido and I didn’t even think about having tech attached to me, a very different experience to buying my dress., where I needed to detach my pump. I also realised that I hadn’t spent a year worrying about my weight or starting an extreme workout plan that would take time away from my daughter and fiancé. Instead I’ve spent that year planning a wedding, making sure my diabetes management is catered for in a way that will enable me to just enjoy our wedding day and most importantly, I’ve learned to feel more at peace with the body I’m in. It’s mine, it’s not perfect, it may not be the prettiest, but it houses a person who loves and is very loved. What could matter more?

DISCLAIMER:
THIS IS A SERIES OF BLOGS I WILL BE WRITING ABOUT KALEIDO. IN THE INTEREST OF BEING OPEN AND TRANSPARENT I WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU ALL THAT I’M EXCITED TO HAVE BECOME A KALEIDOER. THIS MEANS I AM FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO GET TO TRIAL THE KALEIDO INSULIN PUMP. WHEN THEY ANNOUNCED THEIR UK RELEASE WAS IMMINENT, KALEIDO ASKED FOR KALEIDOERS AND HAVING BEEN KEEPING A CLOSE (AND VERY INTERESTED) EYE ON THEM FOR SOME TIME, I GOT IN TOUCH. I FEEL REALLY LUCKY THAT THEY’RE ALSO LETTING ME USE THEIR PLATFORM TO SHARE MY EXPERIENCES OF LIVING WITH T1D WHILST PREPARING FOR MY WEDDING DAY. THESE BLOGS WILL BE SHARED ON MY OWN SITE ALSO.
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DM ME.

All images copyright Author and Kaleido

31. And so it begins…

Leading up to Friday 6th September 2019, I felt such excitement and a smidgen of apprehension all at the same time. I’d developed such high expectations of what the Kaleido could do for me. Aside from the ability to control the pump remotely (a big win on the wedding dress front), I hoped this teeny tiny piece of colourful technology would help me overcome many of the body image obstacles I experienced every day. Of course the biggest expectation was always that it would be the most effective management tool in my Diabetes Kit.  

Since returning to MDI in March, I’ve found that my weight increased and I found I needed more glucose to treat a hypo, I also shied away from a lot of exercise for fear of hypos. I knew that Insulin Pump Therapy would make a difference, having experienced it before; I was looking forward to experiencing the difference Kaleido could make to all of that.

 

When Jayne from Kaleido arrived, it literally felt like she came bearing gifts. From the bags the pumps were in, to the boxes; opening it all up was such a lovely, non-clinical experience, which is such a rarity when Type 1 Diabetes lives with you. Our every day is lead by clinical decisions; we spend a large proportion of our lives with medical professionals in clinical environments and so this really was a breath of fresh air. It made me feel like I was at the centre of this process rather than my Diabetes.

 

We spent time going through the kit and various functions, using the guidebook; which is colour coded to match the handset screen options (so helpful when you need info quickly) and having a few dummy runs at filling the cartridge before we did it for real. Filling the cartridge, fitting it in the pump, inserting the cannula and then attaching the pump was all new but it went smoothly and this time, when the handset confirmed “orange pump connected” I didn’t cry as I had at previous pumpstart, instead I felt empowered and raring to go.

 

In fact I was so raring to go that that evening, we went for a family dog walk. I was running after my 16-month-old daughter and laughing at her holding the lead; I chased my dog through the long grass and I held my fiancé’s hand as we watched our 2 girls exploring the nature reserve near us. The temp basal worked a treat and so did the extended bolus when we had pasta for dinner. We spent lots of time walking together over that weekend, my family, my Kaleido and I. Immediately I felt a sense of freedom I didn’t expect, a weightlessness; emotionally and physically. No longer did managing my diabetes feel like a chore, but more of a choice* and I cannot wait to try my wedding dress on at my first fitting.

 

 

*This is the best metaphor I can find for how I’m feeling and in no way am I suggesting that Diabetes, or it’s management is a choice.

DISCLAIMER:
THIS IS A SERIES OF BLOGS I WILL BE WRITING ABOUT KALEIDO. IN THE INTEREST OF BEING OPEN AND TRANSPARENT I WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU ALL THAT I’M EXCITED TO HAVE BECOME A KALEIDOER. THIS MEANS I AM FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO GET TO TRIAL THE KALEIDO INSULIN PUMP. WHEN THEY ANNOUNCED THEIR UK RELEASE WAS IMMINENT, KALEIDO ASKED FOR KALEIDOERS AND HAVING BEEN KEEPING A CLOSE (AND VERY INTERESTED) EYE ON THEM FOR SOME TIME, I GOT IN TOUCH. I FEEL REALLY LUCKY THAT THEY’RE ALSO LETTING ME USE THEIR PLATFORM TO SHARE MY EXPERIENCES OF LIVING WITH T1D WHILST PREPARING FOR MY WEDDING DAY. THESE BLOGS WILL BE SHARED ON MY OWN SITE ALSO.
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DM ME.

All images copyright Author and Kaleido

30. My Fiancé and her T1D

When I first met Niki I had no idea she had Diabetes, not that it mattered to me of course, but it wasn’t long before I found out when we went for a coffee at the café and she took insulin for it. Some of my family members have Type 2 Diabetes and I’m ashamed to say that I never really took the time to find out more, all of that changed the minute Niki whipped out her insulin pen within an hour of meeting her. I have a greater understanding of Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetes, I now understand what it takes to manage this condition on a day-to-day basis and the many thought processes involved. I understand that there are many dangers and I watch my fiancée keep herself alive every day, that’s not scary anymore, it’s the reality for her and she does it so well.

 

Aside from being the worlds foremost expert in Niki’s T1D she also has the most amazing human qualities which she readily extends to strangers. One of my favourite examples of this is when Niki took infusion sets to a complete stranger one evening because they’d travelled to Oxfordshire and had forgotten their spares. Niki didn’t hesitate to do this for someone she’d never met before and this is typical of the caring and nurturing person she is. She’s the most caring person I know and this also shows in the social media family she’s part of. There’s masses of support to be found there and Niki is very prominent in making sure people can find that. The friendships that have been made there are many, and I’m so glad I get to count these people as friends too now. (Not to mention my relief that they all approve of me).

 

 

After just 5 weeks of being with Niki, we travelled to London to get her first insulin pump. It was a stressful day for me, I knew the hopes and fears she had for this method of managing her T1D and I didn’t want her to be disappointed. All those concerns disappeared upon seeing the tears of joy roll down her cheeks as she officially began pumping insulin, I knew in that moment the relief she must have felt at having the ability to calculate her boluses more accurately and the freedom she hoped the various functions would give her. Sadly, that first pump hasn’t always made life easy for Niki and my heart has broken watching her struggle and breakdown because of it. There are always other considerations in addition to the standard daily thought processes Niki has, where to place the cannula, how to dress to accommodate it, what to wear to be able to access it. The Kaleido has already eliminated some of the pump related clothing issues for Niki; she suddenly owns dresses…without pockets!! I’m seeing her begin to feel more confident and comfortable in her own skin, especially around her Diabetes Management and it’s so good to see that again.

 

I see the Kaleido has the chance to give Niki the freedom to choose how she lives her life, because even though she is absolutely amazing at everything she does, especially keeping herself alive everyday, this will go a long way to helping her actually live it.

 

Written By Matt – Fiancé to Niki & Dadda to Moomin

 

DISCLAIMER:
This is a series of blogs I will be writing about Kaleido. In the interest of being open and transparent I wanted to share with you all that I’m excited to have become a Kaleidoer. This means I am fortunate enough to get to trial the Kaleido Insulin Pump. When they announced their UK release was imminent, Kaleido asked for Kaleidoers and having been keeping a close (and very interested) eye on them for some time, I got in touch. I feel really lucky that they’re also letting me use their platform to share my experiences of living with T1D whilst preparing for my wedding day. These blogs will be shared on my own site also.
If you have any questions, please feel free to DM me.

All images copyright Author and Kaleido