35. The One Where They’ve Been Married For 6 Months.

A whole SIX months has passed since our wedding day, and I’m very aware that I haven’t shared an awful lot about it as publicly as I, and possibly you thought I would.

Truth be told, we hadn’t factored in how busy getting married so close to Christmas, as parents of a toddler, we’d find ourselves. Not to mention being in the early stages of a second pregnancy with Type 1 Diabetes…but that’s a story for another time.

There are a lot of things to be said about weddings, the work that goes into them, the emotions, the politics, the people and then that final count down….and then before you know it, the day itself. There is so much that I think we’d both change about our entire wedding experience looking back if we’re totally honest, the highs were epic, but the lows…..leave us speechless, and not in a good way. But, when I truly take stock of the day, about OUR day, mine and Matt’s; the outcome is one I feel I’ve waited for my whole life without really knowing it. I got to marry my best friend and I wouldn’t change that for all the tea in the world!

I remember feeling so calm and excited the morning of 30th November 2019, more than anything I just couldn’t wait to see Matt. We haven’t really spent much time apart since we’ve been together, infact I can count on less than 2 hands the amount of nights we’ve spent apart in 3 years; so to have been away from him the night before only added to that yearning and excitement, I missed him so so much, a feeling I’m not sure I’d prepared for. (His stag do was also really hard, I don’t think the planners had factored in the small child and her Mumma who’d want regular contact – but what a welcome home we gave him)! I couldn’t wait to see him in his suit, arriving in an Aston Martin (a surprise I’d been working on for over a year) and then to see him waiting for me at the end of the aisle, where we would officially begin the next part of our forever.

I remember breathlessly speaking to the registrars before the ceremony because I was just so excited to get to Matt, everything felt like it was going too slow, yet also quite fast. The adrenalin was absolutely having an effect. After seeing the registrars, our wedding coordinator, Janet walked me back down to my family and I kept asking her if she’d seen Matt and how was he. Once we reunited with my parents, sister, niece and our precious daughter, I felt able to take a breath. I was still excited but also overwhelmed, I’d been planning this wedding for almost 2 years and this was it…..there were only a matter of metres between me and the library and suddenly I wanted time to slow down for a moment, I wanted to drink it all in, the ups and downs, the emotions, the hard work and the sheer joy. I wanted the universe to know that as much as I’d hated so many aspects of wedding planning; I was grateful that it had brought me to this point. I looked at my parents, my Mum looked absolutely stunning and my Daddy so handsome, then I turned to my sister, niece and daughter and I felt so proud to be standing amongst them. Each one of these people had taught me more than I could ever acknowledge about love, friendship and hope….! I took a deep breath and off we went.

The ceremony is definitely my favourite part of our wedding day. I’ll admit to a flurry of emotions as the doors opened and I watched (from where I couldn’t be seen) as my mum walked through the doors, Tabitha’s hand in hers and then hearing the titter of laughter as Tabitha turned to come back towards me before finally heading off down the aisle, followed by my sister and my niece. Standing there waiting, my arm entwined in my Daddy’s, a small tear appeared followed swiftly by the offer of a hanky from my Pop – you may be thinking “good ol dad, prepared for the tears”, I can almost guarantee that hanky was originally intended for him.

Then it was my turn, our wonderful wedding coordinator made sure my train was in place and my dad was raring to go like he couldn’t wait to hand me over, I had to pull him back! We approached the doorway to the library at Ettington Park Hotel and I finally saw Matt, I wanted to just stop for a moment and take it all in, how handsome he looked, his reaction to seeing me and to see each one of our friends and family, there to support us on this long awaited journey.

The processional music was Transformation by the cinematic orchestra, a piece I’m listening to now as I write this and it takes me back there every time (except now baby number 2 is dancing away to it in my tummy). Much like the now faded butterfly on my arm, this was another transformation in my life and other than giving me goosebumps, the music stirred something in me the same way permanently inking a purple butterfly on my arm at the age of 16 did – I was fully committed and I couldn’t wait for where this moment would lead me. I look at the photos of me walking down the aisle, and where once upon a time I’d see chins and be incredibly critical of myself, I now see only joy and love as I look at the man who was about to become my husband. It wasn’t a long aisle, but that walk was incredibly emotional in the most wonderfully indescribable way, to the point I almost wish the walk had been longer. I was proud (and grateful beyond words) that my Dad was able to walk me down the aisle and I couldn’t wait to share my promises with Matt in front of some of the most important people in our world.

There were some giggles, especially when Tabitha decided to climb under the lace overlay of my dress, I’m so disappointed a photo of that moment doesn’t exist, but it’s a moment we’ll never forget. Tears and nerves as we both read our self penned promises; and surprise at some of the similarities. The gratitude and pride when my brother in law read Edward Monkton’s A Lovely Love Story so well (I had no doubts). It was all real and heartfelt and thoughtful and celebratory and despite there being a room full of people, I was only aware of Matt and I and it felt so intimate, something just for us, the best way to begin our forever.

Now we’re six months into married life and I don’t think either of us have felt we’ve had time for that “honeymoon” period many newlyweds talk about. Life with children gives you different demands on your time, perhaps if we’d met when we were younger we’d have been for more date nights since the wedding, or even perhaps gone on our honeymoon straight away? But if we’d met when we were younger our life wouldn’t be what it is now, one full of love, joy, rewarded and continued hope and the promise of possibility. We get to look forward to our honeymoon and the adventures we can share with our children, and just with each other as we tick off the moons lighting our sky.

Happy 6 Months My Darling Hubby……xXxXx

All Images Copyright of the Author

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